Growing up, I watched a lot of videos that had girls who looked like they were built to fit a six 6. So I figured, in order for me to make it as a singer or be in a movie, I had to stay skinny. I always wore a size, on bigger than a 5, and was afraid to gain wait. I always knew that I wanted to be famous, somehow whether it be singing, or acting. Watching videos by female artists such as, TLC, Monica, and Destiny’s Child, they inspired me to stay slim because they all had perfect shapes. As I got older, I came to realize that women came in all different shapes and sizes. In 2004, my family was all sitting around the TV watching the 3rd season of American Idol and there was a contestant named Jennifer Hudson. She wasn’t what society would consider being a models size. She was, in fact, considered to be a full figured woman. At that moment, I started thinking that being different is good. Jennifer won that season of Idol. Nobody looked at her and said, “She’s not a size 6, so her career won’t go very far.” A lot of the media even praised her for standing out. Even though it was only after I had my daughter that I gained my weight, I’m not afraid to embrace it and still want to sing and act.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I love to engage in artistic activities such as painting, photography, drawing, etc. Although these activities are fun for me, they don’t have the same affect on my family. It seems to draw me away from my family. Being that I am an artistic individual and very interested in the arts, no one in my family engages in such activity. I feel like I’m alone in the activities that we participate in as a family because no one shares the same feelings as me about art. They would all think it is just nice or cute but that’s as far as it goes.
As far as friends go, I pick them wisely. Because that, I feel as though my friends and I are on the same page as far as activities we engage in and what we like to do for fun. We are all on the same level, sort of like a “creative posse”. We all share the same artistic views and intellectual innovation.
Even though loving to engage in arts draws me away from family, I don’t see myself stopping. In fact, I would engage in these activities more and try to perfect my skill in the arts. Hopefully in the future my family would be more interested in what I do. Even though they are not as interested in art like me, they still support me more than I can ever ask for.
Graffiti has always been a big part of my life next to photography. As a young kid growing up with people who spend there time destroying the city painting every wall, trains, tagging on billboards. Has build me up to a an artistic individual, knowing that painting on private property is against the law made a vandal ready to paint anything in my way. Ever since a youngster I have been fascinated by the color the style the paint creating something that I have never experience. Till this day it has the same impact as when I was a young kid, I have spend some days were all I do is walk around painting walls on scrapping on metal leaving only my name, letting the city know who I am and to show that I am here to cover the city in paint.
This passion has drawn me away from my family. My parents know I do it and that I enjoy every moment of it. They know it’s a passion for me and that it means a lot as well. But for them knowing this has pushed me away from my family in that sense. They believe it’s a waste of time, that all I am doing is destroying my life doing non-sense. They fight and yell at me they tend to lock me in the house not letting me out, but for what if they know I am still going to be painting. It’s an addiction I tell them it’s a passion. I have spend some nights climbing water tower’s, running from cops, for what they tell me it’s the rush it’s the love its is what I do. It has been something that has taking me from society and the world it’s the illegal art that has brought me to be who I am.
Something that draws me away from my family is my usage of illegal substances. Being a young teenager, I was peer pressured into trying marijuana. At first I really did not like it for the fact it was looked down upon by a higher, more upscale community. After a while, I began looking at it as a part of me, which was around the time I finally began to accept it into my life. Since then, I have been a user for about 5 years. I myself see nothing wrong with that because it is almost as bad as a nicotine addiction but not as strong as something like a cocaine habit. I am in control with the substance although; sometimes it draws me away from my family because I usually exclude them from my daily planner when it is on my schedule. I usually use it in times of writing or hanging out with my friends. We all feel very strong towards the substance turning legal one day and hope to be part of a movement, if one is proposed. My friend Anthony wrote a whole paper towards why it should be legal because in high school we had a class called legislation. We wrote laws and had to argue them in class like a debate and he actually had his bill passed to try to become a law (well in high school). That was such an accomplishment due to the fact that bill had never been passed in the whole time of school. I feel that this substance draws me away from my family, but brings me closer to my friends and what I stand for in life.
I like japans cartoons an I have some friend who like it and some that don’t but I love them but when ever I go to the movie to see them most of the time I end up going alone its cool I guess but it kina hard when u wane talk about them an no one wane heir it but I still find some one to lessen an a lot of time I watch shows that the friends that do watch them have never even herd of like this show called s cty ed its a rely good show grate story line grate fight seines even head nice review but a lot of people never herd of it I like watching the under ground shows be 4 they get big like a show called elfin lead that is a show that I’m sure a lot of my friends wouldn’t watch be cues it a grim show but an a lot of shows I watch are they have the best stories some times some of my friends think I can be a nerd but hey it just me being me
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
A sub-culture I sort of belong to is Gramps Lil Champs home daycare, which is own by my mom. After school, everyday, I go home to do homework and afterwards I play games with the kids who attend the daycare. Sometimes I take them out to the park or we just walk to the store and talk about what they did while I was gone. I feel more comfortable around the kids, mainly because I have one of my own, which attends Gramps Lil Champs home daycare. Ever since I was little, I loved to be around kids. In April, every year, my family would take trips to Louisville, Mississippi for our annual family reunion. While my mom and aunts stayed over at hotels, I would stay at my aunts’ house with my younger cousins. We would stay up all hours of the night and talk about what has been going on with us throughout our separation from one another. Most of my little cousins look up to me in different ways. Some of them have even gone as far as to say that I’m their favorite. I have spent most of my time being around kids ever since I was young. Living in a house full of kids, everyday is a new surprise. My life never has a dull moment with the kids around. Kids are eye-openers of the world. They show us things that we wouldn’t see for ourselves by looking in the mirror or watching the news.
Having the passion to do something brings a lot of tension and frustration to oneself. You get to the point were you have no idea if you can go on with it anymore or you begin to ask yourself if the passion you have is even worth it. Everyone has there own hobbies and enjoyments but only a few of these people stand out. These people that I refer to are those who want to make a change in their social life and others. These people are the ones who want to leave their mark in society, taking the risk of showing people who they are and what they want to show. Look at hip-hop who ever took out this culture or the people involved in this made a huge and I mean huge impact in everyone’s life from the breakers to the turntable’s and graffiti and don’t forget the Mc four elements creating something new.
I myself have always wanted to establish the inner voice I have and show my passion to those who don’t know who I am. I have always wanted to show people my photography I have been on the journey for that one perfect image that will give girls that orgasm and the guys the DAMM SNAP! But what ever that passion is people wanting to leave their mark in the world takes time. At the moment I have nothing that will contribute leaving the world in amazed. For now I am in the journey to find that establishment of WOW!
I have always wonder how will people remember I would like to be remember as a kind person smart am well rounded an I would riley love to be remembered for my work as a writer of poetry music an story so I got 2 thinking what if I use me imagination an it truly is a gift I have performed my poems in tow slams in two years an one poem at a consort I have performed raps as well its not was cool I have the energy for it just not the love but I love writing both so I have decided to just write them I get to make my mark an make money so that’s how I plan to leave my stake
My sub culture consists mostly of listening to different music like hip-hop to classical to emo. My group have always been different, in my group it is one marine, a skateborder, a video-gamer, a writer, and a producer. The marine is my friend josh, he is very eager towards leaving to serve and is always the most courageous and brave person of the group. The skateboarder is my friend Anthony, one of the most unique yet influential people of the group because he always has different things to bring to the table of life that leads me to think differently. The video-gamer is my friend Austin, he is the youngest but probably the one with the most potential to become smarter than all of us. He is a little lazy around the edges, but he is a quick learner and can be very clever at different instances. The writer is myself, I see myself as more of the backbone of the group because I tend to push them to do what they feel is right. I also am the advice giver, and the ambitious one that came from nothing to something. The producer is my friend Anthony, but we refer to him as shorty on account of his lower advantage to growth. He is probably the most ambitious out of all of us, he tends to focus on the larger objects and shoots straight to it. He is the main aspect of how this group came to be since me and him were friends before I met the others and the others can say the same. We all come together and have our own ways of enjoying the time spent together. Each of them make up our subculture and each of them has a big place in my heart, sometimes I tend to be a little more emotional than the others. I think it is because I come from a closer family where we always try to be involved in each others actions, but I equally love them all and I know they all love me as well.